Azusa's Struggles
by timtam2400
Summary: Sequel to Yui's Worst Moment. Having started the recovery from her accident, Azusa and her friends are trying to return to normal, but constant challenges arise.
1. Struggles

The bell tolled to signal the end of the school day. Students went about putting their school things away, chatting amongst themselves. One student had a bit more difficulty due to the injuries she had suffered a few months prior. Shifting her weight around, Azusa struggled to her feet, supporting herself on her desk.

"Do you need some help, Azusa-chan?" Ui asked, concerned for her friend.

"If you could carry my guitar, that would help." Azusa replied, balancing her bag on her shoulder. Ui quickly fetched the instrument from the back of the classroom. "Let's go then." Resting on her crutches, she snaked her way to the door, the other students parting to make room. As the two made their way to the club room, other students made way, some checking in on Azusa. Their gazes made the catgirl uneasy, but she knew her predicament would inevitably draw attention. The story of her accident had circulated around the school, and when she started back, she became something of a celebrity. However, this was during the time when she and Yui were forbidden from seeing each other, so when other students asked her about it, she didn't have the heart to talk, Ui and Jun trying to ward off the questions.

When the ban was lifted, she was more willing to talk, but some of her memories were still hazy. True to her word, Yui remained her usual self, giving Azusa hugs and the like during club time, but vowed to keep herself in check everywhere else, knowing that Azusa was still a long way from full recovery. She had also become quite protective of the kouhai, getting pretty hostile if anyone hurt her, even if it was by accident. The other girls did their best to be gentle with their junior member. Memories of one particular incident filled their minds.

"So how is practice coming along, Azusa-chan?" Ui asked.

"Same as always. Barely at all. Although I can't really blame my sempais for that this time around." When Azusa returned to practicing guitar, the faster paced songs like Fluffy Time proved challenging. She would push herself as far as she could, but had to keep stopping to let her wrist and leg rest. While she was really happy to be with her friends again, she was annoyed at herself for holding them back, despite them assuring her that she wasn't. Approaching the stairs to the Light Music Club Room, they spotted a tall figure waiting.

"Hey Azusa."

"Hi Mio-sempai. I assume you're waiting for me?"

"Well, who else in this school is using crutches?" The two giggled. "Here. Let me take them." The crutches swapped hands, Azusa supporting herself against Ui and the banister. Then began the slow ascent up the stairs, Mio taking the rear. This was one of the dangerous parts. At least one of the seniors was always waiting to lend Azusa a hand, like how Ui and Jun were always on hand to get her to and from class. There had been intense discussions about Azusa staying off school until she wasn't so reliant on needing help, but she had stubbornly insisted that she didn't want to take too much time off as her grades might slip and the club would absolutely never get any practice in. And secretly, she didn't want to have to spend even more time away from Yui as the ban her parents gave the 2 of them had been heart-breaking enough. So she was allowed to go back.

Finally reaching the top of the stairs, Mio returned the crutches while Ui handed over the guitar. Wishing them both farewell, she disappeared. Leading the way, Mio entered the clubroom, swinging both doors open to make room for Azusa.

"Hi Azusa-chan." Mugi called, leaving her seat to make some tea for the kouhai. Azusa awkwardly dumped her bag before heading to her seat. Yui quickly got up to pull the chair out for her friend.

"Thank you." Setting her crutches aside, Azusa took her usual place at the tables, Mio holding her under her arms to keep her from dropping too hard. This was basically the way things were for the group. Azusa wanted to keep coming to the club despite knowing how difficult things were for her, and the seniors were simply unable to convince her otherwise.

A cup of tea was placed in front of her. "Have you started physio, Azusa-chan?" Mugi asked.

"Yeah. It's pretty hard."

"Well, it is early days, and healing from something like this will take some time."

"Just try not to rush it. You don't wanna end up back in hospital." Ritsu said.

"*giggle* I'd rather not."

A hand met her shoulder. "As long as we're all careful, that won't happen." Yui added. She was smiling, but everyone could sense firmness in her voice. They had not forgotten what had happened last time.


	2. Flashback

Two months before…

Approaching the stairs to the clubroom as normal, Azusa and Ui found Mugi waiting. Acting as Azusa's brace, the keyboardist slowly followed the kouhai up the stairs. Azusa could only hop, and because of her small stature, the seniors literally had to take things one step at a time. There had been a couple of close calls on the stairs, and everyone dreaded what might happen if Azusa fell.

Reaching the first landing, the girls stopped to let Azusa catch her breath. The stairs weren't all that high, but the hopping took considerable energy. *pant* *pant* I hate doing this to you guys. It takes forever." Azusa said.

"It's okay, Azusa-chan. We're here to help you. There's no rush." Ui assured her.

"I just wish I could do this on my own."

"You don't need to feel bad about this. We're your friends. We're supposed to help each other out in times of need." Mugi said.

Azusa gave the senior a small smile. "I really am so thankful to have such wonderful friends. I'm glad I joined the Light Music Club."

"And we're really happy to have you, Azusa-chan." Mugi replied.

Gathering herself, Azusa braced herself again. "Okay. Let's go." The girls continued ascending. Reaching the door, the crutches and guitar were returned before Ui left. Opening the way, Mugi let Azusa through first. Making her way to her seat, being held by Ritsu, she prepared to sit when the door opened.

"I'm finally here. Is my tea ready?" Sawako trudged in looking drained.

"We're a bit busy right now…" Forgetting what she was doing, Ritsu shifted the chair slightly. Missing her target, Azusa lost her balance and dropped to the floor, her bad leg knocking against the table and floor. Pain exploded throughout the limb.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Azusa's scream of agony echoed around the room. The kouhai clutched her leg, tears falling.

"Ritsu, what have you done?!" Mio exclaimed, rushing to her friend.

"Sorry! Sawa-chan distracted me…" SLAP! A hand collided with her face. Everyone fell silent when they saw who the hand belonged to. Holding her face, Ritsu turned to face Yui, the guitarist's eyes ablaze with fury.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT AZU-NYAN IS STILL HEALING?! YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH HER! DO YOU WANT HER BACK IN THE HOSPITAL?! PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

Silence filled the room.


	3. Worries

The present...

After that incident, the group made a note to be as deliberately careful with Azusa as humanely possible, lest they incur the wrath of Yui. Ritsu flat out avoided touching her if at all possible unless specifically asked to help. Yui raging like that never happened, so she was slightly shaken by it. Mio held her behind that day to comfort her, also lending her shoulder as Ritsu ended up crying a bit. The girls had tried talking to Yui about loosening up with Azusa. Azusa herself even tried telling the senior to be gentler with people and not to be so hostile if they hurt her without meaning to. Their words had little effect. Yui still remembered that she was the cause of Azusa's accident and still carried the guilt from that time. She did understand that Azusa didn't need constant protecting like she was in danger, but at the same time, she couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her friend that would land her back in hospital.

Ui had been informed about what had happened. She was stunned to hear that her normally carefree and smiling sister would do something like that. She had always known how close Yui was to Azusa, and after things had started returning to normal, she had seen how much her sister had changed. Even though Yui was happy Azusa was recovering and the club was mostly back the way it was, the fear of something bad happening to the kouhai kept eating at her, despite her efforts to ease up. She knew in her heart that she was being unreasonable, and she hated herself for it. She wanted more than anything to be how she was before, but couldn't. Her friends could sense this, but were unsure how to go about helping her.

A couple of months passed, Azusa continuing her physio. She was slowly starting to regain mobility, but she still needed her crutches to get around. She was even questioning whether she made the right choice about stubbornly returning to school. As much as she loved being with the seniors again, the continued struggles were getting to her. Yui's change in personality also saddened her, as she was really starting to miss her old friend. The girls had given up trying to talk sense into Yui. They were taking every possible precaution and trying to continue their lives, but the atmosphere at the club was heartbreaking for all of them. The days of the club being jovial and friendly seemed like a distant memory, and they all wished things were back the way they were. Ui also wished she had her old sister back. Everyone wondered why Yui couldn't go back to her old self.

One evening, Ui decided to try finding out. After clearing the dinner dishes away, she headed up to Yui's room. *knock knock* "Onee-chan?"

The door opened. "What is it, Ui?"

Ui hesitated for a moment. "I know you're tired of us talking to you so much, but could we do it? As sisters?"

Yui's expression lowered. "I know you're gonna just tell me to ease up. There's no point in saying anything. I can't be my old self anymore." She started to shut the door, but Ui slammed her hand against it.

"But why? There has to be a reason for it. I want to know why you've become like this. And I know you want to tell me."

"Please just drop it, Ui."

"I can't! Can't you see how much it hurts me and your friends to see you like this?! I know you still bad about what happened, we all do! We'd feel the same way if we were in your position!" Ui dropped her head. "It's like back when you couldn't see Azusa-chan. You were really depressed, and it hurt me seeing you like that. Please, Onee-chan. Let's find out why you can't move on."

A brief silence followed, then Yui opened her door again. "OK. If you think it'll help." The sisters went in and sat on the bed.


	4. Meltdown

"Onee-chan, I won't pretend to know how you're feeling. But I can tell there's something going on with you." Yui said nothing. "I know you want to move on, but for some reason, you can't. It's like something's stopping you. Am I right?" Yui slowly nodded. "Do you have any idea what it could be?" A whisper left Yui's lips. "What did you say?"

"I don't know." Yui said.

"Onee-chan, it's OK. Whatever's going on, we'll get through it."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" Yui screamed, startling Ui. "YOU THINK I ENJOY BEING LIKE THIS?!" Yui covered her eyes and broke down. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Ui! I'm not the same person anymore, and I don't know why! I want to move on! But no matter how hard I try, I can't! Something's holding me back, and I don't have a clue what it is!" Tears poured through her fingers. "How could I hurt Ri-chan? I know she didn't mean to hurt Azu-nyan. I know people don't mean to hurt her. But everytime it happens, I see her lying in that bed." Sobs took over. Ui watched her sister's meltdown. It was if a valve had been opened, and everything Yui had been keeping locked up was being released. "I don't want to be like this anymore. I need help."

Ui put her arms around her sister. "It's OK. We'll help you through this. All of us." She could feel Yui shaking.

"I'm scared, Ui."

"What are you scared of, Onee-chan?"

"I'm scared I might do something I shouldn't. I'm scared something bad will happen to Azu-nyan. I don't want her back in the hospital. I still have nightmares about it. Where she's in bed, not moving. Where she actually dies."

"It won't happen. We're all being as careful as we can. We're gonna make sure Azusa-chan makes a complete recovery." Words stopped as Yui continued crying. Ui kept stroking her head, quietly whispering comforting words. She was sad to see her sister in this state, but was slowly beginning to understand. The two stayed like this for a while until Yui had calmed down. Later that night, Ui decided to sleep with Yui to better comfort her.

"I don't what I'm supposed to do, Ui." Yui said quietly.

"Don't worry about it. Just leave things with me. Everything will be fine." Ui assured her.


	5. Explanation

The next day after school…

Ui accompanied Azusa to the clubroom as usual, the two meeting up with Mio. "Thanks again for the help, Ui." Azusa said.

"My pleasure."

"Ui. Yui said she wasn't coming to the club. Is she okay?" Mio asked. Azusa was surprised to hear this.

Ui was quiet for a moment. "I had a talk with her last night."

"What did she say?"

"... I think I know what's wrong with her." Mio and Azusa were a bit taken aback. "Let's get to the clubroom. I'll explain everything there." With that, the 3 headed upstairs. After Azusa had been seated and Mugi had made tea, everyone's gaze fell on Ui.

"What's going on, Ui? You know what's up with your sister?" Ritsu asked.

"Yes." She took a breath. "I had a talk with her, and she broke down crying. She told me how she's been feeling all this time." The club members kept their eyes on her. "We all know that she still feels bad about Azusa-chan's accident. How she got her hurt. From what I can tell, she still feels guilty about it, and she's upset about how she's been acting lately. She also feels bad about what she did to you, Ri-chan."

"Well, what happened then was partly my fault. I wasn't paying attention." Ritsu said.

"So she still hasn't let go of things. The question is why?" Mugi asked.

"I think I know." Ui said. Eyes focused on her again. "The reason my sister has become this way, why she can't seem to move on from what happened, is because even though we, Azusa-chan, and Azusa-chan's parents have all forgiven her, she hasn't forgiven herself."

Everyone exchanged gazes. "But why? It's been months since my accident." Azusa said.

"I'm not too sure about that. But for some reason, she can't seem to forgive herself for what she did. And until she does, she won't be able to be the same person she was."

"So how are we supposed to help her?" Mio asked.

"I don't think we can all that much personally. This is something she has to do herself."

Silence followed for a moment. "Maybe we should try talking to her again. She doesn't seem to get that things are getting better." Ritsu said.

"I don't think we should keep pestering her unless absolutely necessary." Ui said. "I think last night drained her a bit, and I'd like her to recover from it."

"She does have a point." Mio said. "If someone breaks down, they need their own space for a while. I think we should leave this alone for a while and just be there for Yui when she needs it."

After a moment of silence, everyone agreed. They all wanted to help their friend, but they also didn't want to irritate her. They had seen how she'd been acting since she was allowed to see Azusa again, and it saddened everyone. They all missed the Yui who had first joined the Light Music Club. She was still giving Azusa hugs in the club, but Azusa felt they lacked the energy they used to because Yui was scared of hurting her.

The sound of the door opening drew their attention. It was Nodoka. "Yui's not here?"

"No. She went home." Ui replied.

"Did something happen?" Ui explained the details. Nodoka's expression dropped. "So no real change then."

"Not really. We're all stuck on what to do." Mio said.

"I don't get it." Everyone looked at Azusa. "Why is it so hard for her to forgive herself?"

"She's just terrified of you ending up back in the hospital."

"But I'm not going to!" Tears started welling up.

"Azusa…"

"I hate this. I want the old Yui-sempai back. The one who always smiled. Who always threw herself on me. This club's nothing without her!" Her hands covered her eyes as she cried. Her friends could only watch.

Ui put her arms around the kouhai. "I'm sorry, Azusa-chan. I know exactly how you feel. I want my old sister back as well." No-one said anything more. After Azusa had run out of tears and calmed down, everyone decided to head home. They agreed to give Yui some time to try sorting herself out before trying to talk to her again.


	6. Release

One month later…

The club continued their lives as per usual. Everyone had stayed true to their word to leave Yui alone, praying that she would somehow come round. Thoughts of her friend kept circling around Azusa's mind. She had tried thinking of some way to help Yui move on, but did her best not to speak up about anything to her. Yui had made little change since her talk with Ui. She had been seriously thinking about things and had tried telling herself repeatedly to let go of what had happened and that Azusa was not going to return to the hospital, but it still proved fruitless. Images of seeing her friend in the hospital bed plagued her mind's eye, and the nights were invaded by nightmares of Azusa going through her accident again and never waking up. Safe to say, Yui was all but at her wit's end. She had become more quiet during club time, and what little practice the girls got in slowed to a crawl due to Yui often losing the motivation to play. Everyone was getting increasingly worried about her. Even Sawako had concerns. Eventually, Azusa could take no more.

One Saturday after school, she informed the seniors that she was skipping club, contacted her mom saying she had something important to take care of, then followed Ui home, saying she wanted to make one more attempt with Yui. Ui could sense that Azusa was getting desperate, but didn't argue with her. After they arrived, Ui made tea, and the two waited for Yui to get home, both having little to say. After some time, Yui arrived.

She was surprised when she saw Azusa. "What are you doing here, Azu-nyan?"

"Yui-sempai…" Azusa hesitated, wondering if she was doing the right thing. "I'd like to talk to you." Yui was not happy hearing this, but Azusa continued to avoid giving her a chance to argue. "I know you're sick of it, and I'm sorry we keep pestering you about this, but I really want this problem of ours sorted out. The Light Music Club I'm in now is not the same Light Music Club I first joined, and I really want it back the way it was. Everyone does, and deep down, I know you do too. So please, let's work together to fix this." She clasped her hands together. "I promise you this will be the last time any of us bring it up."

Yui looked at her sister, who nodded. "What do you say we make one last attempt, Onee-chan? For Azusa-chan's sake."

The guitarist fell silent as she contemplated. She couldn't argue with what Azusa was saying. She did want the club the way it was before, and she wanted to go back to her old self, when she was always happy. She couldn't deny that the entire situation was wearing her out, and she knew her friends missed her.

Finally, she spoke up. "Let me just put my things away." She headed up to her room to put her bag and guitar away, then returned to the living-room. "I'm not sure more of this is gonna help personally."

"I think it will." Azusa said. She took a breath. "Ui told us about you two talking about things. How you hate the way you've been acting, and how you can't seem to move on from what happened to me."

"You know I still feel bad about it, Azu-nyan. I got my best friend hurt because I acted stupidly." Yui said.

"I know you do. If it were me, I'd feel the exact same way. No-one likes getting their friends hurt. I won't deny that it was stupid, but I don't blame you for it because you were just being yourself. None of us blame you for it."

"Onee-chan. Even though this happened to Azusa-chan, she still sees you as a really good friend. The others as well. Everyone still loves you." Ui added.

"But why? All I ever do is cause trouble for everyone. Why do you guys even put up with me? The Light Music Club would be better if I wasn't there."

"That's not true, Sempai. It's thanks to you that the club even exists. The others told me that if you hadn't chosen to join, the Light Music Club would have been disbanded. You saved it from that. And anyway, Ritsu-sempai and Yamanaka-sensei cause way more trouble than anyone else." Azusa put her hands on Yui's, drawing her gaze. "Listen. The reason you haven't let go of what happened is because you still haven't forgiven yourself." This surprised Yui. "All of us have, and so have my parents, but you haven't. That's what holding you back. Ui figured it out."

"You mean that's what's wrong with me?" Yui asked quietly.

"Yes. That's the problem."

Yui was quiet. Somehow, it made sense. Both her friends and Azusa's parents had long since forgiven her for getting Azusa hurt. But for some reason, she hadn't done the same to herself. "But how can I? I did something terrible to you." She felt tears starting to appear. "How am I supposed to forgive myself? I could have gotten you killed."

"But you didn't. I'm still here, and I don't plan on going anywhere." Yui's shoulders shook as she started breaking down. "It's okay, Sempai. I got hurt, but I didn't die, and I have no intention to."

Yui choked on a sob. "Azu-nyan…" She covered her eyes. "I'm sorry…"

Azusa put her arms around her friend. "It's alright, Yui-sempai. You're still a wonderful friend and sister. I don't see you as anything less, and I never will." Her resistance finally breaking, Yui let out an anguished scream. All of the pain, all of the pent up emotion, all of the guilt she'd been carrying with her for all this time came pouring out. The whole house echoed with her sobbing, tears flowing onto the floor. Ui and Azusa could feel the emotion in Yui's cries. They said nothing, Azusa continuing to hold the brunette. Ui also went over and hugged her sister. She could tell this was exactly what was needed. For the first time since Azusa's accident, Yui was finally starting to accept what had happened and let go. Maybe now, she'd be able to move on with her life. Minutes passed until Yui's cries began to slow. Azusa and Ui kept holding her, feeling her shaking become less violent. They smiled at each other, happy that Yui was letting everything out.

After some time, Yui's sobs ceased, the senior sniffing. Ui released her and got up to grab a tissue box. She then started wiping her sister's face down. "Are you feeling better, Onee-chan?"

Yui sniffed again. "I…"

"It's okay. You don't need to talk if you're not able to yet." Azusa said.

Yui took some breaths and wiped her eyes. "I…" She looked at them, a small smile appearing. "I think I do." The two hugged her again, Yui also putting her arms around them. "I'm sorry, guys. I know I've made everyone worry."

"Yeah. You have." They held the group hug for a bit, then separated.

"Thank you, Azu-nyan."

"What for?"

"For not giving up on me. You're right. I did want things back the way they were, and I wanted myself the way I was before. But I couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried." Her eyes dropped. "The truth is, part of me has always thought you hated me. For what I did to you."

"I could never hate you, Sempai. Not even for something like this."

Yui looked at her, giving probably the biggest smile she'd given in a long time. "I should have known better." Ui and Azusa could see genuine happiness from Yui. Yui herself felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. Her heart felt substantially lighter than before. "I think… I can start moving on now."

"You sure about that?" Azusa asked.

"Yes. I'm glad you two pushed me into this." Happy that she was feeling better, Ui and Azusa hugged her. The Yui they knew and loved was returning.


	7. Surprise

One month later…

Making the trip to the clubroom like always, Azusa made her way inside.

"Hi Azu-nyan." Yui left her seat to hug the kouhai. Azusa made no attempt to resist. After their talk, Yui had lightened up substantially. Everyone else in the club had seen the change and were overjoyed that their old friend was back. The guitarist was finally able to accept her mistake and forgive herself for it. She knew she couldn't change what had happened, only move forward and help Azusa out when needed. She had also apologized profusely to Ritsu for hitting her and everyone else for worrying them. She had returned to her usual act of hugging Azusa the way she used to, but still took care to avoid unbalancing her. The kouhai was so happy her friend was her old self again, she allowed the hugs to continue unabated. Her physio was also progressing fairly smoothly. Even though her crutches were still needed, her wrist had recovered to the point where she didn't need to use her friends as support to climb the stairs. They were still on hand to help as the danger of her falling was still there. She was also able to seat herself without assistance. The atmosphere at the club had almost entirely returned to the way it was before. Everyone was happy that things were improving. There was little increase to practice, but that didn't trouble anyone. Not even Azusa raised any objections. Yui was happy again. That's all the catgirl cared about. The Light Music Club was the one she remembered. Nodoka had seen Yui's improvement and was also happy to have her childhood friend back as she wahad been worrying about her. Everything was finally moving forward.

Near the end of the year, the 3rd year students of the school were preparing for graduation. After everything had smoothed out following Yui's recovery, the thought of her sempais leaving had starting plaguing Azusa's mind. She did her best not to think about it or bring it up, trying to just enjoy the time they had left together. Her injuries had improved to the point where she was less reliant on crutches, but she still wasn't fully able to walk unaided. The stairs to class and the clubroom were always the biggest hurdle, her friends still accompanying her.

One day, she headed to the clubroom like normal. As she entered, she was spotted by Yui, who stood up. The kouhai dumped her bag on the seat. "Congratulations on your graduation, Sempais…"

"Azu-nyan." Catching her by surprise, Yui walked over to her.

"What is it?" The guitarist had an unusually serious expression.

Yui took a moment, then spoke up. "I'm not graduating."

Azusa was shocked to hear this. The sound of chairs scraping the floor caught her ears, Ritsu, Mio and Mugi joining Yui. "What do you…?"

Mio cut her off. "Azusa. Yui has decided that she's not going to graduate until you have completely recovered from your accident and are walking and running on your own."

"And it's not just her." Ritsu said. "We're all staying behind." The seniors all smiled. "Which means you have to put with us for another year."

Azusa was stunned. She could not find any words. Yui then hugged her. "You still need help around school, and it would be too much to leave it with Ui and Jun-chan. So we're going to wait for you to heal and graduate with you."

Recovering from the shock, Azusa's eyes teared up and she started shaking. "You guys…" Wrestling her crutches from her arms, she grabbed Yui and started sobbing. "I've been thinking about your graduation for so long. About having to say goodbye."

The others joined the hug. "You're not going to, Azusa-chan." Mugi said. "We're staying here with you. There won't be any goodbyes from any of us." Words stopped for a moment as Azusa cried. She couldn't believe the seniors would do this. They were so worried about her, they were willing to stay in school for another year.

"Are you guys really sure about this?" She asked after she'd calmed down.

"Positive, Azu-nyan. Once you're completely back on your feet, all 5 of us will graduate together." Yui said.

The junior fought back the urge to start crying again and smiled at her friends. "I'm so happy I joined the Light Music Club. You guys are the best friends ever." There were smiles all around. It was clear that the decision was final. The adventures of the Light Music Club would continue for one more year. Azusa knew she'd made the right choice joining the club. With that, they crowded around the table as usual and spent the rest of the afternoon doing what they did best. Absolutely nothing.

THE END


End file.
